Summer!

Is so close! I'm very excited for it.

I have those bittersweet feelings about graduating highschool, leaving my school, my job, and my church, but I know that I have so much more to explore.

I plan on spending the first half of my summer making things and reading. Oh, and playing my cello :).

I can't wait to have time to sew clothes, read a book a day, and go on forever walks to yellow fields.

I only have half a summer, because I'm doing a discipleship program the second half. But that only adds to my excitement!

Ahh, 8 days of highschool left. I just got really excited about it today, I hadn't really been thinking about it.

On another note, I bought my first real kitchen appliance the other day - a skillet. It's blue and I love it!

Anyways, I'm done with my random outbursts of excitement.

P.S. I'm thinking of getting my bangs cut like Alison Sudol's. Who knows?

"I was looking for silver spoons, you handed me a sword." - Jon Foreman

Last night was amazing. I've never had a worship experience like that. My hearbeat was replaced by a drum, my fingers turned into violins, my arms guitars, my legs tambourines and cellos, and my mouth was filled with glorious words. My whole body was working in rhythmn to praise the Lord.

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"God's heart is the poor, orphaned, and widowed."

• Amos 5:21-24 - "I hate, I despise your religious feasts; I cannot stand your assemblies. Even though you bring me burnt offerings and grain offereings, I will not accept them. Though you bring choice fellowship offerings, I will have no regard for them. Away with the noise of your songs! I will not listen to the music of your harps. But let Justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream."

Our worship means nothing unless we are doing something. God's heart is not us singing to Him. His heart yearns for us to take care of the poor, orphaned, and widowed. Our praise amounts to nothing unless we are doing that.

• James 2:14-19 - What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. But someone will say, "you have faith; I have deeds." Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that - and shudder.

I don't want this anymore - I want passion.

God, more of You, less of me. I give myself to You, move my feet, hands, and heart where You will. Lord, let me not die. Even on the most mundane Tuesday, I pray for passion. Lord, continue to break down these walls and to continue to feel.

Ahora Tenemos Miedo

I always write the weirdest things during Algebra:

I keep my thumbs hidden in the sleeves of my sweater. There's a bleach stain right on my second joint. Sorry for the details, I have a macro-minded mind. Smiles without eyes, that's what you give me. A parabola of a face, and a spider of hands. Crawl up the neck, draw the notes out. Out like a thread from a spool. As you pull, you don't hold my head; it spins around and around like Prudence, look around. But if you hold my head you can't pull the notes, so what will your life be? It's okay, I'd sacrifice my mind for you. I made the decision to be like this. I made the decision to be like this. I made the decision to be like this. I made the decision to be like this.

I don't know. It was an overload of graphing and frustration with my cello, I guess.

I got frustrated to the point of tears today for my lack of writing ability.

I hung out with one of my good friends this past weekend. It was interesting, I feel like God wanted us to hang out. Honestly, I didn't want to. I was feeling unsocial, and sometimes it's awkward with my friend.

But we had a really good time. We drove out to our other friend's house, listening to good music, and talking.

He's changed a lot. Well, let me put it this way - God is growing him. I talked to him as he was taking me home, and it was a really great conversation. I didn't feel guilty.

And then something crazy happened. He prayed for me.

I haven't had anyone do that, anyone that actually knows me, in a long time. Then I prayed for him. I haven't done that in a long time. It was so good. I felt like I had a true friend. I wish he didn't live in California :(.

It was a good time. A much-needed blessing.